Winter Once Again The Prelude to 'Wishes'
by Airelle Vilka
Summary: Twenty years have passed since Airelle Vilka’s graduation and her parting with Snape. Now, having resigned her position as an Auror, Airelle returns to Hogwarts… (Set in Harry Potter’s fifth year.)
1. Arrival

Winter Once Again

By: Airelle Vilka

Professor of Illusions

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Summary: Almost twenty years have passed since Airelle Vilka's graduation from Hogwarts. Now, retired from her job as Auror, Airelle returns to the school… (Sequel to _The Last Straw_. This is set in Harry Potter's fifth year) I know it's a long jump… but I do not want to describe everything that happened after Voldemort tried to kill Harry. JK Rowling did that for us already. :)

P.S. To Taioralover: Thanks for your reviews. MOST of my Harry Potter fics are about Airelle and Snape... but perhaps when I'm done with my two latest projects, I'll write one about just Snape, or Sirius, or Loopy (heh… Lupin) or Hermione… you get the idea. :) Oh, and to everyone else huge cyber hug Thankee!

Chapter 1 - Arrival

The broom was being unruly, as usual. Airelle struggled to keep hold of it as she flew towards the grounds surrounding Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Of course, it did not help that she got a faceful of snow nearly every second, and there was a wind blowing hard enough to steer even the most experienced fliers off course.

"Would you cooperate?" she growled at her Nimbus 2001, which bucked yet again. "I don't like to fly in weather like this, either."

_Oh, there I go again, talking to my broom, _she thought as another, particularly strong blow of wind made her do a 360-degree flip sideways. _I belong in St. Mungo's._

And she wasn't kidding. Only a crazy person would go to the risks she had undertaken during her time as an Auror, working for the Ministry of Magic. Her team became known as the Suicide Squad, a deserved nickname. And she'd been its leader for nearly two decades. Until finally, she had petitioned Cornelius Fudge, head of the Ministry, to resign. For some reason Fudge was very reluctant to let her go. Airelle was an excellent Auror, but what was there for her to do? Voldemort had been gone for almost fifteen years, and the Ministry's Aurors had uncovered most of the remaining Death Eaters. Finally, Fudge called her into his office a few weeks later.

_"Ms. Vilka," he said, drumming his fingers uncomfortably on his desk, and looking into space as if he was afraid she'd read something in his eyes, "Your petition for resignation has been accepted."_

_ Airelle stood up. "Thank you, Minister," she said. But before leaving, she stepped closer to him, and forced him to look at her._

_ "Minister?"_

_ "Yes?" he asked. Airelle could not help notice that he was trying a little too hard to keep calm._

_ "Is everything all right?"_

_ "Why, of course," he replied. "Why shouldn't everything be well?"_

_ Airelle kept pressing. Something was up. "First you wouldn't let me resign… and now, all of a sudden, you concede? Why? What's going on?"_

_ Fudge's eyes stared at her. "I told you, Ms. Vilka, nothing. Now, if you please, I have work to do."_

_ Airelle tilted her head sideways, wisps of long white hair falling out of her headband. "You're not telling me something," she said. Perhaps that statement was a little too blatant, but what did she care? She didn't work for him anymore. "Come, Minister, I have worked for you for twenty years, and I know when something is wrong. Is it something about--"_

_ "No," replied Fudge. "I do not know what you are trying to do, Ms. Vilka, but the business of the Ministry does not entail you anymore."_

_ "Like heck it doesn't," Airelle retorted, now becoming angry and leaning on his desk. "What is it you're hiding? I care for the Ministry and what it does, you know that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have put myself and my entire squad in danger nearly every day while Voldem— You-Know-Who— was in power, and afterwards! And now, you look like hell just broke loose, and you won't tell me a single thing?"_

_ "You have too much of a temper, Ms. Vilka," said Fudge, putting a quill to a piece of paper and scribbling something. "I have work to do. Work that you do not need to worry about anymore. I understand you received an owl from Albus Dumbledore?"_

_ "Yes. He has invited me to take a job at Hogwarts starting a month from now. In December."_

_ Fudge suddenly looked uncomfortable again, and pushed up his glasses. "That's good, Ms. Vilka. It should provide a healthy change from all those Death Eaters, hmm?" He tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a cough._

_ Airelle was fed up. "You're still not telling me something, Minister," she said, walking to the door. "And I'll find out what it is, even if I must do it on my own."_

_ Fudge did not reply. And then, "You leave Omar Fauks as your successor?"_

_ "That is correct," said Airelle, opening the door. _

_ Silence. And finally, Fudge looked up._

_ "I appreciate everything that you have done for the Ministry, Ms. Vilka," he said, looking at her earnestly. "You were one of our best. And I did not want our relationship to end like this."_

_ "But you let it end like this," replied Airelle. "Good-bye, Minister."_

_ And she closed the door._

Airelle landed on the snow despite her broom's attempts to fly directly to the castle doors. It was late; about ten at night. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered what made Dumbledore owl her so suddenly. And how did he know about her resignation? There was definitely something brewing, and Airelle had a feeling she'd find out very soon what it was. What in Merlin's name was Fudge hiding? She had not had a chance to contact any one of her Ministry friends other than her squad during her month's break before she started at Hogwarts. They did not know anything, either. In fact, they had been very surprised at Fudge's agreement to let Airelle resign. It was only a while ago that he was boasting how good Airelle was as an Auror—

She sighed and brushed the snow out of her hair. Putting everything out for now, Airelle looked up at the looming towers of the castle, and realized that this was the first time she'd seen it for nearly twenty years.

Twenty years ago on Graduation Night, she had stood, with her friend, on the very spot where she stood now, and--

Airelle shook her head and blinked. This was the last thing she needed. She thought that, after such a long time away, she'd be able to forget what had happened in her past with Severus Snape. But she was wrong. As soon as she had taken a glance at the place she'd once known so well, she--

Airelle sighed. Perhaps it would get better with time.

And then, keeping a tight hold on her broom, her feet heavy in the snow, she walked towards Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Airelle only stopped when she reached the main door of the castle. She stood in front of it, shivering slightly, her right hand at her side and her left holding the Nimbus 2001. She was about to repeat an event from her past; it was like déjà vu, only much stranger, since she was actually _doing _it. The handle gleamed at her; she could see her own reflection. Still very much like the eleven-year-old girl who had walked through these same doors almost twenty years ago. But oh, how different from that girl was the woman who stood before the doors now! The light in her eyes had not dulled; it still held the same spark of intelligence and adventure that it did so long ago. Only now, that sense of adventure was different, mixed with so many painful experiences she'd been a part of.

She sighed. Of all jobs, she just HAD to have chosen to be an Auror. So that every day, she'd face something more horrible than what she'd witnessed at this same castle years ago-- the death of her best friend Severus Snape.

Well, not literal death. But to her, it was a worse fate than if he had really died. Now, he was a carrier of death, with the word in his very name – _Death Eater._ Often, Airelle wondered where he was now – perhaps in Azkaban, or hiding out, or still working for Voldemort's cause-- She and her team had been out on many missions, often secret ones; and she'd lost contact with most of her old friends from Hogwarts. Not that she had had many to begin with. But still, she only wished she knew what had happened to one--

Airelle clenched and unclenched her fists. This should not have affected her so much. But it did. And she didn't think she'd forget it for the rest of her life.

_I suppose I have to learn to live with it, _she mused, and, resignedly, reached for the doorknob.

But it turned before her hand even reached it.

Airelle, on instinct – or perhaps paranoia – that every Auror possessed, jumped back. When something moves when you're not expecting it to, be prepared.

The door opened. Airelle gaped.

She had been expecting to see the caretaker, or Minerva McGonagall, who she knew was still working as a professor here, or even Peeves the annoying poltergeist.

But instead, it was Albus Dumbledore who was smiling at her warmly from the other side of the doorway.

"Ah, Airelle, it is stupendous to see you again," he said, warm blue eyes still twinkling as much as she remembered them to. "Word of your great achievements as an Auror have reached me even here."

"Headmaster-- I-- thank you-- I didn't--"

"Don't worry, no one ever expects me to be at the door," he replied, a smile crossing his features. "Come inside, you must be cold. I am dreadfully sorry about the weather, but it was imperative for you to come. I just did not expect for there to be so-- intense a wind out there."

"It's nothing, really," said Airelle, following him into the warmth of the hallway and closing the door.

Dumbledore had not been facing her when she said it, but he turned around. "But I daresay you have flown in stronger winds before, hmm?" he asked.

Airelle laughed. _If you only knew how strong,_ she thought. "Yes, Headmaster, both literally and figuratively."

Another smile, and a twinkle of the eyes. "Well, you should find no problem with our students then," he said as some of the aforementioned students passed by, taking some backward looks at her, the newcomer. "They are as well-behaved as they were in your day."

_In your day. Sounds like such a long time. _"I hope they are not," laughed Airelle as they, surprisingly, walked not in the direction of the Great Hall, but into a long and dark corridor on the left. "If you remember, the students in my day were not exactly your typical cherubims."

"True," Dumbledore chuckled. "Of course, James Potter and his whole crew… and then you, you were quite a troublemaker yourself."

Airelle smiled. Inside, she felt like crying. Severus Snape had nearly always gotten into trouble alongside her… _What was I thinking when I agreed to teach here? _she thought.

"Inside, please," said Dumbledore, pointing to a non-descript wooden door at the end of the hallway. Airelle looked around. She had been so immersed in her thoughts that she'd forgotten which corridor they were in. Although… it looked vaguely familiar… But why would Dumbledore bring her here? She had expected the Great Hall, his office, maybe the staff room. Why here?

Nevertheless, she shrugged mentally and walked into the little room. Dumbledore, however, remained outside in the hallway.

"Make yourself comfortable," he said as Airelle glanced back at him in puzzlement. "I shall return shortly. Oh," he added before closing the door, with a hint of another smile, "and do not venture off, please. I cannot afford to have prospective teachers wandering about the school in the middle of the night." And then, he closed the door, leaving Airelle on her own.

"Make yourself comfortable?" said Airelle out loud to herself. What was Dumbledore doing, leaving her here-- and where _did_ he go, in any case? Airelle fought the urge to take a peek outside the door, and forced herself to take a look around the room instead. It looked old, unused, musty… and there was something…

And suddenly, she knew where she was. And with it, she remembered…

_The room was bare, stripped of all ornaments and decorations, devoid of everything but a few candles for light and two chairs, positioned on opposite sides of the room so they'd be facing each other. Dust hung in the air, and there was a cobweb in one corner between the wall and ceiling, where a single spider was watching a very rare thing in the room. Visitors._

_ The boy and the girl sat opposite each other, with the former looking at the floor and the latter at the wall. They had already been sorted – he into Slytherin, she into Ravenclaw. So why were they here, on their very first night at Hogwarts, together in a quiet room instead of their respective dormitories and noisy common rooms with the rest of the students? Ah, that was an easy question. A young teacher named Professor McGonagall – yes, that was her name – and an old man with a beard called Dumbledore had locked them in here. They did not seem to be too angry, but Dumbledore had said something about 'resolving their differences.' They had been inside the room, in total silence, for about thirty minutes._

_ The girl was getting hungry. Dumbledore had said that they'd eat after they talked to each other. She supposed they were in here for fighting outside the castle as they were waiting for the main doors to be opened. The boy had called her some name -- was it Mudblood? -- and it was not a nice name, from what her new friends on the train had told her. So, she had hit him and soon, the two were rolling on the floor when a big man called Hagrid pulled them apart, and then the door opened and McGonagall saw them--_

_ The girl sighed. The boy had a cloth on his forehead with something they called a Healing Potion soaked into it. She supposed it would make him feel better. She did not know if he was sulking because he was angry with her or because the bruise hurt._

_ She looked at him again. From what she could see behind the cloth, he looked very unhappy. He was rather tall for his age, skinny, and pale, like he had not been in the sun for a very long time. His eyes were black and sparkly, and he had a long nose and thin lips. She tilted her head to one side._

_ "Did I hurt you very bad?" she asked, sliding a little on her chair._

_ "What is it to you, Mudblood?" he replied, scowling at her and wincing because of the bruise in the process._

_ She just continued to look at him. He felt her gaze and glanced up._

_ "What are you staring at?" he snapped. She did not flinch._

_ "I was just wondering if you called me that because you really hate Mudbloods, or because you just do not know my real name."_

Airelle smiled. Snape had not been able to answer that question. And that's what had begun their friendship--

But why was she here, in this same room? Why was Dumble—

But she did not have time to think. Because then, the door opened once again, and Dumbledore came in. But it was not Dumbledore who made Airelle nearly fall backwards in shock.

It was the person behind him.

To be continued…

A/N: Next chapter up soon, hopefully. I have so much work to do… term papers…projects… God, can't a girl get a break on Easter Vacation??


	2. Confrontation

Winter Once Again

By: Airelle Vilka

A/N: Well, reviewers, first of all thank you for your comments. Second, harrumphs at this point and crosses her arms well, _excuse me _for being so predictable with the last chapter. turns back and grins Well, who did you expect it to be, the Easter Bunny at the door? Tee hee… ;-)

Chapter 2 – Confrontation

He was nearly the same as she'd remembered. Only, of course, taller. And from just a glance, Airelle could tell his eyes were tired, haggard; his black robes were tousled; he must have not slept for at least three days.

But she was not thinking of that right now. She just stared at him as he walked through, and watched him raise his gaze to her. She actually saw the black pupils dilate, and the sickly white skin grow, if possible, even paler. He froze, having stepped about two feet into the room. Dumbledore, looking particularly nonchalant about the whole situation, walked backwards towards the doorway, long purple robes swishing above a pair of golden slippers. Once he was outside, the wizard looked at both of them (whether they paid any notice to him at this point was debatable) and said pleasantly, "Severus, Airelle…I suggest neither of you leave this room until you… resolve your differences. And I shall expect to see you both tomorrow at breakfast, bright and early. Good-night."

And he shut the door, leaving the two… friends?… alone.

To be continued…

A/N: Well, taioralover, THERE's a cliffhanger for you!! :) Hehehehe… grins evilly Don't worry, next chapter should be up extremely soon, maybe in an hour or so from when this was posted (7:30 pm, Tuesday April 17)


	3. Resolution

Winter Once Again

By: Airelle Vilka

Chapter 3 – Resolution

The room had nothing in it, save for them and a few candles; even the two chairs from that long time ago were gone.

Airelle's first words to him were not, "Oh, dear God," or "What are you doing here?" or "I cannot believe I'm seeing you for the first time in twenty years!" In fact, they were simply:

"Does he know?" She meant Dumbledore, of course, by that question. But she did not need to explain it to him. She never did.

Snape blinked at her, as if believing he was having a hallucination. It must have taken him some time to register the question, because it was a while before the response came.

"He knows more than you do," he replied. His voice was deeper than it had been when he was young, but now it was hoarse. Perhaps it was from the surprise, but it sounded like he'd been stricken with something for a while, maybe a sore throat.

Airelle did not move from her place. What stupid, silly things to think about – if he had a sore throat or not. When there were so many questions to be asked. Questions that had plagued her ever since her own graduation.

She perused his eyes with hers, but all she could gain from them is the aura of tiredness, and worry. Dumbledore had done it on purpose, bringing them together like this. That's how he grabbed her as soon as she resigned from the Ministry. But why—

"Why are you here?" asked Snape, tilting his head slightly to one side, long black hair falling slightly over his face, just as she remembered it to.

"I might ask you the same question."

"I asked first."

"Dumbledore hired me as a teacher."

"What subject?"

"Illusions."

"That hasn't been taught since Professor Atkins retired."

"I know. Dumbledore said the school could offer it again, since I was proficient enough in it."

Snape did not answer. It seemed as though he was still not ready to move, as if he'd keel over if he tried to step forward. Airelle fought the urge to shake him, hurt him, hug him--

_BLAST IT ALL!!_ she thought, irritated at herself. He left everything for the Death Eaters. He was part of Voldemort's followers. Why was he here now? She had not even wanted to see him again—or had she? Wasn't it just a while ago that she was wondering what had happened to him?

Well, now she had a chance to find out. But why was she so afraid to ask?

"Dumbledore knows you are a Death Eater?" she voiced her thoughts out loud. Snape looked at her as if she were insane. And then, she could see a mental conflict in his eyes, like some torrent happening right beneath the surface of a lake. What was he thinking behind those black eyes of his?

"Was," he replied suddenly.

She raised her eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"I _was _a Death Eater," said Snape, not taking his eyes off her. "Now… I teach Potions here at Hogwarts."

What a simple answer that was. No explanation, no anything. Just as if he was saying he used to work for Madam Rosmerta, and now switched jobs. No 'I was a follower of the most evil wizard in the world, and now, for a reason that I haven't told you yet, I left the Death Eaters. And Dumbledore allowed me, instead of turning me over to an Auror like you, to be sent over to Azkaban.' Just that simple response, and no more. Too many questions were flooding Airelle's mind, and she had no idea where to start, or whether Snape was telling her the truth at all. He had betrayed her once… why not again?

"That's it?" she asked, shaking either out of fear, anger, or anticipation. "Great explanation."

A grim smile crossed his face for the first time. "I am certain you're confused."

"Confused?" she erupted. She did not want to yell at him, but she did. "Confused doesn't even begin to cover it!! I have not seen you for twenty years… you left me crying that night-- do you hear me, CRYING for the first time!!-- and now, all you can say is that I'm confused!?"

Snape stared at her. "Do not scream, I can hear you just fine."

Airelle was so shocked that she stopped yelling and looked at him. There was definitely something different about him. Could he have really left the Death Eaters? But why??

"All right," she breathed. "Let us start over, then. Hello, how are you? It has been twenty years since we'd last seen each other. I have just finished working for the Ministry as an Auror. Now, what the hell have YOU been doing?"

Snape smiled. "Blatant, as always. You have not changed." He sighed. "Very well then, I shall tell you. For the last fifteen years or so, I have not been with the Death Eaters. Before that, I worked as a spy for Dumbledore. And now, fate has made it so I must take up that job again."

Airelle sank onto the floor, as if her two legs could not support her. "No, I cannot believe it. You still bear--"

"The Dark Mark," he finished for her, rolling up his sleeve and bringing flashbacks of Graduation Night. The mark was still there, faded a little, but still a contrast against his pale skin, branded into him. "Yes, it shall never leave, no matter how much I want it to. I cannot run away from my past, and neither can you."

She looked up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," he explained, finally walking closer, "that it is time you knew the truth."

"Truth? Truth about what?"

"About why Fudge would not let you resign."

Airelle paled. "How do you know about that?"

"I understand now," said Snape. "I understand everything. I was just surprised Dumbledore would bring you here. This is why I was so shocked when I met you. But now… now I understand it all, what had happened."

"Good, because I am in the dark."

"Dumbledore spoke to Fudge. He did not want to let you go, because you were a good Auror…"

"Why?"

Snape looked at her, eyes very serious. "Just in case we were right."

"Right about what? I don't understand…"

"Neither did Fudge, apparently," mused Snape, crouching down so he'd be at eye level with her. "That's why he, at first, did not wish for you to resign. But then, an owl from Dumbledore came, hinting that if Fudge was so certain of himself, he had nothing to worry about."

"Wha—"

"After that letter, he still hesitated, but then… his foolish pride took over, and he let you go. And Dumbledore, of course, immediately called you here. I did not know about that. I supposed he, as always, wanted to make a statement. And now I see that it was a good move. You would be protected here, at Hogwarts."

"Protected from what?" Airelle pleaded. "What is going on? Why didn't Fudge let me resign at first, and then—"

Snape interrupted her with three little words that answered all those questions. Words that nearly made her faint.

"Voldemort has returned."

Airelle let out a proverbial gasp and stared at him in horror. "No, it cannot be… Voldemort's dead--gone-- why-- how--"

Snape put a hand to his lips. "Trust me, I know for certain. One of our students was murdered by him last year."

"What?" Airelle could not believe this news had not reached her. It was true that she and her squad had been away in Afghanistan on a mission for months, and could not contact anybody…but Fudge should have—

And then, she realized something.

"Fudge doesn't believe you, does he?"

Snape shook his head. "Young Potter was almost murdered by the Dark Lord as well. It is with Potter's blood that he has risen again, in a new body. I am surprised that you did not find out sooner. But then again, many of his Death Eaters either… were too afraid, after what they did-- like Karkaroff – to return… or simply did not heed the call of the Dark Mark. Perhaps that is why none of the Death Eaters you had been after, especially in other countries, were too responsive."

"Did you—"

"Yes. The Dark Mark burned in my arm as well. But I did not go. However… soon after Bartemius Crouch had attempted, in the form of Alastor Moody, to kill the Potter boy--Dumbledore asked me, at risk of my life, to return to Voldemort and take up my job as spy again."

Airelle bit her lip. "And did you?"

"I had no choice. I owe the Headmaster my freedom from the horrors of Azkaban I would have endured had I been caught by the likes of you."

Airelle sighed and shook her head, as if by doing it she could sort out all the thoughts that were careening through it. "Snape…"

"What?"

"I am overwhelmed. I do not even know if you're telling me the truth. But do not stop," she said hastily as he made to get up. "Please, tell me about what happened last year at this school."

Snape pursed his lips and grew graver than he had been before.

"Very well… But it is not pleasant."

Airelle's legs felt like they were going to fall off. They had been sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, opposite each other, for about two hours; it was almost midnight. But there was a great deal of things cleared up during that time – the whole incident of the fourth champion (during which Snape did a great deal of scowling), the last task of the Tournament, Voldemort's return, and the unfortunate destruction of Barty Crouch, Jr. by a Dementor's Kiss. Now, Airelle understood why Fudge refused to believe that Voldemort had come back. And why Snape had taken up his dangerous job again. Voldemort had, on Snape's return, planned to kill him then and there, but somehow (Snape did not want to mention the details) his life was spared. Now, Dumbledore was slowly getting the old crowd together to prepare them for Voldemort's return. Even Remus Lupin was part of the team. But strangely enough, Voldemort had not shown his nose since the summer, and Snape's mark, according to him, had not sizzled. Snape did not have any idea yet as to what the Dark Lord planned to do next. Whatever it was, surely it was not going to be delightful. Meanwhile, Snape still somehow managed to complete his daily routine without arousing the suspicion of the students.

Airelle sighed. At least she was happy that she'd resigned from the Ministry. If Fudge was so headstrong in his refusals to believe, Airelle would be dead before she even got a chance to fight Voldemort. She made a mental note to warn the rest of her squad. But surely, they knew about it by now. It was only the Muggle World, where she had spent the last month with her parents, that did not have any idea as to what horrors were brewing right under their noses. And thank heaven for that. Airelle could not imagine the chaos that would ensue if the Muggles found out about everything that was happening in the wizard world. As far as the latter goes, Snape told her that Dumbledore warned all the students at the end of last year about the Dark Lord's return. So, many knew, but were simply too stubborn to believe it. And Airelle could not blame them. She did not want to believe it too. But then again, she also did not want to believe that the ugly mark on her friend's arm was the Dark Mark. But you could not run away. You had to face it, better late than never.

And speaking of Snape… there was one thing that did not fit in with his whole story. The one thing that made her doubt his honesty. And she made up her mind. She'd ask him that very question.

"Snape?" she said after a long silence.

He looked up, almost the same little boy that had glanced the same way at her… in this same room, years ago.

"What is it?"

"Do you remember what you said to me that night?" she asked. Of course, she was sure he did. How could he not, if she remembered that entire conversation, word for word? Well, perhaps it had not mattered for him. Maybe he'd forgotten--

"Yes, I remember."

_Oh, well, scratch that,_ she thought. "Do you remember how you told me what would happen if we ever faced each other again?"

He stared at her, and something swam underneath his gaze. With some reluctance, he replied, "Yes. I told you that if we ever met, we would be on different sides, and fight to the… well, as you put it, 'till death do us part.'"

Airelle sighed. Hearing it from him once again brought her a strange sort of comfort, almost a relief, as if she were reliving a nightmare and changing it in the process.

"Yes. Hmm… well, we face each other now."

He smiled. "But neither of us are what we used to be. You are an ex-Auror, and I am an ex-Death Eater, at least in theory."

Airelle fought the urge to smile back; she actually found what was supposed to be a serious statement quite amusing. "True… but still… Listen, everything you have said to me makes sense. And I want to believe you, I really do. But… I find it… so hard."

"I know," he said. "But that's what trust is all about, isn't it? Not knowing whether the person is telling the truth or not…"

She watched the candles drip wax, slowly, down their long stems. "I know, I know. There is something that you could answer me, though. It is the only thing that does not make sense, and if you tell it to me, I shall believe you."

His eyes looked at her, questioning, inquiring. "What do you want to know?"

Airelle took a long breath before replying. Perhaps it was just for dramatics, but maybe it was because she really needed it.

"Why did you leave the Death Eaters?"

Snape looked at her, as if trying to read something in her eyes. But soon, he turned his gaze away, almost disappointedly, as if her eyes had told him nothing.

Airelle licked her lips. "I shall not rise off this floor," she nearly echoed his words from so long ago, "until you give me an answer to my question. It is my turn to ask now."

Snape looked back at her, and there was a hint of dark amusement in his gaze. "Do you really want to know?" he asked.

"Damn right I do."

"Think about it," he smirked. "The truth is not always what you want to hear."

"I would give you nothing less than the truth if you asked," replied Airelle, staring back at him with a fire in her eyes.

"And thus, you deserve nothing less than the truth either, is that right?"

"You are very quick-witted, Professor Snape," she replied.

"Very well," he said. "A few minutes ago, I would have lied to you about it. But now, I see there is no point."

"Really? And why is—"

His look silenced Airelle faster than any sharp word could. She just stared at him, and decided to be quiet. Finally, he was going to tell her.

"You were right," he said, looking out into the half-darkness of the room, looking so young with his untidy black robes sprawled over the floor he was sitting on.

"About what?" She was curious.

"About us meeting again… that it would be a fight to the death."

"But we're not—"

"Listen to me for once," he said. Then, once he had her attention, Snape continued, "But I, as Americans would put it, 'bailed out' on that promise. It was not a fight to the death between us. In fact, it had been merely an exchange of short blows."

"What are you _talking_ about? What does this have to do with your decision to leave the Death Eaters??"

Snape acted as if he were not hearing her. Like he was in some distant dream floating before him.

"You could have died, you know," he said. "You _would_ have died. You had been so foolish and brave to brandish your wand and walk into the line of fire, with curses shooting back and forth all around you. But for your team, you used everything you knew to protect them. It makes me wonder if you should have been a—" he made a 'hmph' sound—"Gryffindor. You stared death in the face many times, Airelle, but never as close, I bet, as you did in that clearing."

Airelle stared at him, mouth agape so wide she could have swallowed a very large bug and not have noticed. "How do you know about--"

She stared at him some more, and understood. Finally.

"It was you, wasn't it?" she whispered. "You were the Death Eater who let me go."

Snape nodded so slightly that if Airelle hadn't been looking directly at him, she would have missed it.

"Now you know why I left. It had gone too far… When I stood there, staring down at you, I felt something that I thought had been long gone for years."

Airelle eyed him crossly. "If you say, 'love,' I'll seriously punch you."

Snape laughed darkly. "No, Airelle, it was much more painfully simple. Guilt. Pure and unadulterated, in all its authenticity. Try to understand… I had caused so much grief in the world that I did not notice my own… until the day I came _this _close to murdering my best friend."

Airelle stared at him, and did not know what to say. Finally, she tried, "I wish…"

"What?"

"I wish that it was winter once again."

"It is winter. Have you looked outdoors?"

"No, I mean, another winter. The one a long time ago. In our years at Hogwarts… where we had stood in that snowstorm… don't you remember?"

"I do," he said, with an incomprehensible look in his eyes. "But, Airelle, we cannot dwell on what might have happened. You know the truth now, and what you decide to do with it is up to you. It is another winter now, another task you must face. And I'm here. So what shall you do about it?"

"Why does this have to be so difficult?" she whispered, lowering her gaze to the floor.

Snape stood up, legs twitching painfully from their long time in one position. "It is never easy," he said. "But you know that already."

Airelle just nodded. She had gotten her answer from Snape, and thus let him help her stand up.

"Hmmm… you don't want my forgiveness, do you?" she murmured, looking up at him. "You just want me to understand why you did what you did. And why you came back."

"Perhaps the former shall come with time, if you are willing to embrace the latter," he mused, black eyes glittering. "I just do not know."

She laughed. It was so innocent, almost childlike. "But I think we shall figure it out, somehow."

"I do not doubt—" he was about to say, but was interrupted by Airelle's look.

"I know, I know…just be silent… _for once_," she imitated him, kissing him lightly on the cheek and not caring one single bit.

Needless to say, Snape was very surprised at this very-unlike-Airelle gesture. "What was that for?" he asked incredulously, and she laughed, wishing mentally she could frame that look of surprise on his face.

"Nothing in particular. Perhaps it is because you said once that I did not have enough spontaneity in me. Or maybe… because it has been nearly twenty years since I wanted to do this-- no, do not look surprised, I am terrified by the thoughts I've had as well-- and I cannot deny it."

Snape raised his eyebrows, and his lips were slowly showing the first hint of a twisted grin. "_Thoughts? _You have had…thoughts?"

Airelle shrugged, trying very hard to ignore the damned blush that she knew was going up her neck. _Why did you say that, you maniac? First time you see him in so long, you both have been through so much, you still haven't forgiven him for the Death Eater thing, and all of a sudden, you start this? It's going to turn into sentimental mush! _she scolded herself. _Blasted, stupid, overactive teen-age hormones that are suddenly acting up in my mid-thirties… Wait, does that even make sense?_

Snape, of course, was very amused by the discomfort that Airelle was going through, and she felt like fighting with him for smiling.

"What are you staring at?" she asked loudly, even though she was a few inches away from him. "You want a sock in the face?"

"Now I know the world's turning inside out," he grinned, "because Airelle Vilka, former Auror, toughest girl this side of the Atlantic, is actually admitting her—" and at this dark amusement passed through his eyes again like a wave--"_feelings._"

"Feelings? Look, you're the one who said it, and accentuated it, not I," she replied hotly, refusing to back off. "And look who's talking about being sentimental! You don't show this side of you to anyone, and yet right now you're invading my personal space with these… these… questions!"

Snape stared at her, confused. "That doesn't make any sense."

"I know," she replied monotonously, glaring up at him. She had always known his eyes sparkled when he was pleased with something. But this was a different kind of look. It was… almost frighteningly… captivating. Had she interpreted it wrong all these years, or was it something he'd acquired while they'd been apart?

"Now it is my turn," he suddenly said.

"To what?"

"To ask."

"Ask what?"

"What are _you_ staring at?" he inquired.

"Your eyes," she answered without thinking, and immediately regretted saying it-- because Snape's black eyes narrowed, shining with a dangerous gleam. Not dangerous in the sense of scary… but… something else… something she could not explain yet. _Maybe, _thought Airelle, _I need to see it through another pair of eyes… not as a friend, but…_

"Really? Why?" he asked.

"Er… well," she began, sounding like an adolescent again, "I think they… umm…are very—dazzling." _Oh, great, smooth move, Casanova_, she told herself. _Now he thinks his best friend's gone mad…_ In the back of her mind, something told her Casanova was a guy, but that did not matter at the moment.

"Oh, look, forget I said anything, hmm?" she asked, throwing her shoulders down in despair. "I don't know what the heck I'm doing…"

"But I do," he murmured, (in a tone that was extremely unlike his natural) leaning in and brushing her lips with his.

And a voice was awakened in Airelle's mind that shrieked like a madwoman on fire: _Don't you dare! He's your best friend! And a former Death Eater, and you're throwing yourself into his arms! You're a pathetic excuse for an Auror, or an ex-Auror, or a woman in general!_ But at the same time, another voice piped up, as vociferously as the other one: _Your first kiss, about time! This man's been your friend for how long again? You've stood by him for seven long years, and he left the Death Eaters for you! And come, come, Airelle, admit it, _added the voice slyly as Snape nudged her mouth open and his tongue slid along hers, _you're liking this, aren't you? Hmm? Oh, you great big flirt, you!_

_ I AM NOT A FLIRT!! _screamed Airelle into her own head as the second voice laughed hysterically. _AND SHUT UP, THE BOTH OF YOU! GO AWAY BEFORE I HURT YOU, SEVERELY AND METICULOUSLY!_

The second voice snickered. _Cannot hurt your own heart, Airelle, can you?_

And then, there was silence. Now, she was on her own, left to fend for herself as his hands slipped inside her robes and slid caressingly along her skin, making her gasp at every skillful, sizzling touch.

_Oh, please, God, no, I don't want to do this… or maybe I do…but this is going so fast…no, I don't…yes, I do…no, I don't… wow, damn right I do… no, wait…_

Airelle blinked once, twice. Snape was standing next to the doorway, his arms crossed, eyebrows raised, and his eyes questioning.

"What—where—"

He seemed annoyed. "Airelle…"

She stared at him, as if she beheld him for the first time. "Huh?"

He sighed in exasperation. "Airelle, did you hear _a word _I said?"

It took her only half a second to realize that the kiss…and everything afterwards… had all been a mere hallucination.

"Erm…..yes, of course," she said hastily, practically running towards the doorway and nearly smacking into him. She skidded to a stop when she was outside in the torchlight of the hallway and her friend was still in the room.

"Yes, of course, I heard…" she continued, "about the breakfast tomorrow. I shall find my room now, and I shall see you, like Headmaster Dumbledore said, bright and early. So… we'll have a good breakfast. Good-night." And Airelle took off like a shot down the corridor, leaving Severus Snape with the most bewildered look his face could have ever managed to achieve.

"Breakfast?" he muttered to himself. "I didn't say a word about breakfast…"

FINIS


End file.
